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Getting aheadAmidst the secret love affair playing out at The Warehouse some other decisons about the future were being made. Abbey had had an abysmal last year at school but really wanted to study psychology 'because of my own mental health struggles and because I wanted to help people.' (Page 67) So starting with a foundation course in 2015, Abbey by 2019 graduated with a BA in psychology and criminal law. Money also struggled at school but via a Gateway programme, Unitech and AUT he studied marketing and entrepreneurship and is now only a three month practical company placement away from competing a university qualification. The ShowdownChapter 7, 'The Showdown,' is the turning point in this family love story. Its narrative is told turn and turn about by Money and Abbey, as are the story-lines of all the chapters. It's an unpleasant chapter because it's filled with months and months of arguments, pleadings, strained silences and the threat of family expulsion. However, after all the argument and difficulty Money's father eventually relents. 'Money, if she is the one, I will meet her and we will get to know her. If she learns to understand our culture, then ... we'll have to see.' (Page 147) LearningIn the same chapter, Abbey has this to say: 'While they argued, I did lots of research into the Sikh religion and Punjabi culture. I read and read about it and watched documentaries. I knew that if I ever met Money's mother, Pam, I would have to prove to her that I was interested in their culture and willing to learn, or she wouldn't accept me. And I was happy to do this because I was so interested to know more. I learnt things about Sikhism even Money didn't know.' (Page 140) Abbey did get to know the culture and they did 'see', and the story is a testimony to what can be determinedly achieved in crosscultural understanding. The weddingIf 'The Showdown' is the turning point in this story, then 'Four Ceremonies and a Riot' is the crowning interest apex. Here is the wedding. And what a wedding! Four weddings in fact, beginning with a European ceremony, then moving to several days of Punjabi festivities, the last of which was a party that ended in a riot which drew the police. Abbey says: 'I can't even tell you how huge these days were. I remember feeling anxious and scared most of the time that I was going to mess up somehow or embarrass myself, and it was good to know that Money also felt pretty scared and nervous. And yet I was also superexcited as it meant I was becoming part of Money's future, his life, his family and his culture.' (Page 100) Share the videoLike many couples Money and Abbey wanted to share their wedding video with their dispersed family members. They put it on YouTube. Anybody could see it and anybody did! It went viral. Look today and the Anand Karaj wedding video is listed as having 9.5 million views. Then the Singhs began and continued uploading other videos: the European wedding, the arrival of their first baby, Abbey cooking Indian food with her mother-in-law. Scroll down the YouTube Modern Singhs menu and there seem to be scores of videos. Well, not really scores, but there are many. Indeed as the book explains the making, editing and posting of family videos has become a business and a way of life. OpenI like biographies, autobiograhies and memoirs. I read many. This is probably the most open one I've ever come across. Money and Abbey share all sorts of details about how they feel and how they relate. They tell the reader about their difficulties of learning to be married and learning how to love and nurture their first child. The video endeavour also amazes me but I see that it's part of their openness. I find the book quite astonishing. Getting married across the cultures as they do is an achievement in itself. I know others do it too but it's the embracing of each other's language and cultures that seems epecially significant here. Money grew up with English once he came to New Zealand but Abbey has had to learn Punjabi from scratch. I enjoyed the book. Right from first hearing about it I've been intrigued that their story started in The Warehouse. What could be more Aotearoa New Zealand than that? □ John McInnes Friday 26 August 2022 Publication details HarperCollins Publishers (New Zealand ) Limited; 2022. ISBN 978 1 7755 4195 0 (pbk); ISBN 978 1 7754 9226 9 (ebook) ##########
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